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Session 5: Focus on feelings
Published in Lynn Bertram, Supporting Postnatal Women into Motherhood, 2018
This whole session focuses on feelings. We all have them, but sometimes don’t know what to do with them. We may feel at their mercy or view them with suspicion. We differ in how we express and communicate feelings, and the traditional British ‘stiff upper lip’ has done much to ensure feelings are concealed. On the other hand, we regularly hear of instances when feelings have got out of control and violent or criminal acts are perpetrated.
Professional roles
Published in Celia Hindmarch, On the Death of a Child, 2018
Delivering news of a child’s death causes great anxiety about what to say and the reactions of the parents. Shifting attitudes away from the ‘stiff upper lip’ have brought a recognition of the distress and need to debrief afterwards with a senior or welfare officer.
Communicating with people whose behaviour is challenging
Published in Karen Stainsby, Mari Roberts, Develop your Interpersonal and Self-Management Skills, 2018
Our culture influences how we behave too. For example, the British are known for their ‘stiff upper lip’. Similarly, when a person bumps into another in the street, it is not uncommon for both to apologise for the incident, even though only one was responsible for the collision. Gender-related messages are important too, e.g. women who speak up for themselves are often termed ‘aggressive’ (and, as a consequence, labelled ‘masculine’). Some societies value the needs of the society over those of the individual, e.g. China, and vice versa, e.g. America (and to a large extent Britain).
Barriers and facilitators to colorectal cancer screening among older Korean Americans: A focus group study
Published in Social Work in Health Care, 2020
The male focus group participants revealed negative attitudes toward CRC. Several participants in the both YM and OM focus groups stated that KAs were reluctant to talk about CRC with others because of modesty, possible stigmatization, taboo topics, male gender roles (work requirements, stoicism) and denial. For example, one participant in the OM focus group said, “We should save our face. We cannot talk about anus and feces at table … Koreans think talking about one’s disease damages his pride.” A participant in the YM focus group also said, “In the Korean community, people have prejudice against people having a disease including colorectal cancer.” Another participant in the YM group added, “Korean males usually don’t talk about pain even with wife. Isn’t it a characteristic of most Korean males? They keep a stiff upper lip.” Moreover, one participant in the YM group explained that he would not talk to others at work about his appointment with a doctor regarding CRC screening because he was afraid of losing a job and it would not be deemed acceptable in Korean culture to see a doctor when on work duty.
Compassion-Focused Therapy for an Older Adult with Motor Functional Neurological Disorder: A Case Study
Published in Clinical Gerontologist, 2023
Nicolò Zarotti, Rebecca Poz, Paul Fisher
Albert reported a good childhood, with a decent relationship with his parents and siblings and no major traumatic experiences. However, he mentioned never feeling the need to have his family around throughout his life, and not maintaining a close relationship with his siblings after the death of their parents. He remembered being taught to always keep a “stiff upper lip” in life, since “big boys don’t cry.” This belief was also rooted in some early life episodes, in which he wet his bed at age four and was bitten by a dog he was playing with at age seven. In both instances, Albert recalled being scolded and punished for his behavior, and feeling ashamed after being told that he deserved his punishment and was not supposed to complain.
Trans-Generational Transmission of Traumatic Memory and Moral Injury
Published in Military Behavioral Health, 2018
Although the British volunteered in their thousands on the outbreak of World War II, it was not with the sense of adventure and enthusiasm witnessed in 1914 (Calder, 1969). Widespread knowledge of the reality of combat led to a resigned acceptance but no mass antiwar protests. In November 1939 the government cancelled the public commemoration of Armistice Day (Gregory, 1994). Sirens, now employed to warn of an air-raid, could no longer be used to mark the 2-minute silence and the assembly of large crowds was discouraged. The suspension of Armistice Day ritual was also a symbolic gesture. The dominant emotional model for a nation again at war was “stiff upper lip” and the space for the expression of moral injury was restricted.