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Social Media and the Impact of Technology on Couples and Their Disorders
Published in Len Sperry, Katherine Helm, Jon Carlson, The Disordered Couple, 2019
Treatment will begin with the development of boundaries around the use of social networking sites in the home. This is important, because Emily feels the most insecure knowing that Mike still has a Facebook account. She and Mike will need to work on specifying boundaries around what is acceptable/unacceptable use of technology in their relationship. Since Mike does not view his past behavior as infidelity, it will be necessary for the couple to first address this issue. This will involve identifying ways to acknowledge each partner’s point of view and eventually coming to an agreed-upon understanding of what happened. It is essential that Emily receives validation of her feelings of betrayal regarding her perception of a sexual and emotional affair occurring between Mike and the other woman. I will assist the couple in learning ways to effectively express their thoughts and emotions. Mike will also work on continuing to acknowledge his indiscretions, enabling him to take responsibility for his actions. This includes understanding the ways in which his relationship was damaged by his actions.
Infidelity
Published in Fred P. Piercy, Katherine M. Hertlein, Joseph L. Wetchler, Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, 2013
Katherine M. Hertlein, Joseph L. Wetchler, Fred P. Piercy
Emotional infidelity, rather than being characterized by a physical component, is instead defined by emotional intimacy and connection shared by two people to the exclusion of one of their partners (Collins, 1999; Drigotas, Safstrom, & Gentilia, 1999; Shackelford, 1997; Spring, 1996). An emotional affair occurs when one invests resources such as romantic love, time, and attention in another person other than the partner (Shackelford, 1997). Aspects of emotional intimacy may include sharing, understanding, companionship, self-esteem, and an otherwise close relationship (Glass & Wright, 1992). Moultrup (1990) refers to infidelity as an emotional solution to an emotional problem. Emotional affairs also appear to be more prevalent than physical affairs. Glass (2003), for example, reports that 44% of husbands and 57% of wives in her study indicated that in their affair, they had a strong emotional involvement to the other person without intercourse. Further, women are more likely to have an emotional component in their infidelity than men (Glass & Wright, 1985; Shackelford, 1997; Sheppard, Nelson, & Andreoli-Mathie, 1995). Emotional intimacy is clearly a powerful bond maintaining an affair (Glass, 2003).
Clinical reviews editorial: discovering connections
Published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 2021
Curtis, et al.’s article spoke about the way in which we perceive actions and professions, and further brought that into how, as therapists, we can be significantly influenced by our own biases and reactions. Kato’s (2019) work related to infidelity perceptions in Japanese heterosexual relationships overlaps with this idea, and is also included in this issue, in that they studied the imagined response to different types of infidelities. They found that women responded with more jealousy when an imagined emotional affair had occurred, whereas men had higher jealousy when an imagined physical relationship occurred. Additionally, they found that reported attractiveness of the supposed or imagined partner had no effect on overall jealousy ratings. This information can be helpful in understanding the reactions that partners may have when perceived jealousy over external relationships exist. While their findings adhere to a stricter cisgender guideline of interpretation and gender schemas in place, it would be helpful to know how cisgender persons who are in monogamous relationships react, or the amount of effort that they invest into these difficulties. Permission-based work can be helpful here in validating the lived experiences and emotional reality of each person and working toward helping the clients understand the other.
Introduction
Published in Studies in Gender and Sexuality, 2019
This collection of commentaries on the book therefore constitutes yet another layer of deep reflexive work. Many of the themes in the original book are iteratively rehearsed for a second time, producing new meanings and questions—notions of missed of failed encounters, this time with Deleuze making an appearance as a potential missing interlocutor who offers a different account of desire, and therefore a different account of both queerness and the analytic encounter; the politics of institutional psychoanalysis and institutional queer theory and the remarginalizations that they both produce, especially those of trans* but also those of race through the lack of representation from queer of colour scholars; the ever-present potentials for deradicalization of both the queer and psychoanalytic projects and sometimes by one another; questions of lack and fullness and the very real differences within that baggy term “psychoanalysis” of how to understand sexuality, the function and purpose of the clinic, and questions of technique. These commentaries, taken together, broaden and deepen the original aims of Noreen Giffney and Eve Watson’s extraordinary project, the frustrations of no breast pushing us further into thinking, which, as we know, is a thoroughly emotional affair.